I Wrote a Book: Sober as F***!
So you may have noticed that I've been a little MIA from soberAF since the beginning of this year. Trust me, I have a VERY good excuse as to why I left my blog high & dry for the past four months. As I've shared in my Youtube videos and blog posts previously, I had continually felt the stirring in my heart to do something more with my story and my sobriety. I was convinced that I had survived my wreckless past with alcohol for some divine reason... I just wasn't quite sure yet what that reason was. The videos and blogs were my initial attempt at taking what I had been through and what I had learned to use it to do something good. I received many emails, DMs, and messages from people all over the world with stories just like mine. The stirring in my heart was not quieted by any of these things though, and I still had no definite answer as to what more I could do.
I awoke from a dream around my 28th birthday where I had found a book on the ground. I don't remember where I was in the dream, but a small book sat on the floor faced-down by a table. As I picked up the book, it opened it to a random page and saw a photo of myself. I was dressed in a super short mini dress (typical), gripping a bottle of great goose in one hand and a drink in the other, and my glassy, empty eyes stared out blankly from the page back at me. I flipped through a few more pages when I realized it was all photos of myself back in my binge drinking days. The words that filled the pages of the book were the words of MY story. The minute I woke up I knew that God & the Universe had just sent me a sign loud & clear. I began writing the intro to Sober as F*** a few days later on a flight to California. I had no idea what the hell I was doing (and I had never written anything longer than a college paper), but I just started writing.
I am posting this blog post today on May 25th 2017 on the 2 year anniversary of my sobriety. Can you believe it's been 2 years already? It is absolutely mind-boggling to me that it has been 2 years so far. 2 years of breaking, 2 years of hurting, 2 years of picking up the pieces, and 2 years of rediscovering everything about myself. The transformation is unreal and difficult for me to comprehend sometimes because EVERYTHING about my life is different now. This life I have created has grown to be something I am so grateful for because I had to build it from the ground up piece by piece. Nothing about my life or who I am is anywhere near what it was in the past. I had to change and remove so many things from my life. I was forced to face and accept many sobering realties along the way about myself and why I drank the way I did. I was forced to acknowledge that I live with depression and anxiety, that I had unhealthy relationships with men, and that I had used alcohol as a means to drown out all of my emotions for many, many years.
Sober as F*** is my personal memoir of my first 2 years of sobriety and a whole lot more. I poured every piece of my heart and soul into this book. I let go of every fear, everything I was ashamed of, and everything I had ever held back. I let every bit of my story pour out into the pages of what has grown to be one of my most prized possessions and greatest accomplishments. My hope for this book is that someone out there going through their own struggles may find comfort in mine. That some part of my struggle, my rock bottom, and my comeback will ring true to part of their own journey in life. If one person can relate and take something away from what I have been through and overcome, then this was all worth it. I invite you into my story, I welcome you into my journey, and I wish to offer you an overflowing amount of love, support, and hope. xx .
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