Everyone wants that fairy tale kind of love. That Ryan Gosling writing you a love letter for 365 days when he loses you type of love. That John Cusack holding a boombox outside your window kind of love. That Kate Winslet jumping off of a life boat to stay with Leo on the Titanic kind of love. Okay, so maybe these are a bit extreme... but you can just go ahead and thank Hollywood for that. Everyone wants to feel loved, desired, and cherished. We want to be the reason someone sends that 'Good Morning' text every morning. We want to wake up to those forehead kisses while we first wipe the sleep from our eyes in the morning. We want the guy to drive miles and miles just to see you for only an hour. We want the girl that surprises you with a home cooked dinner after a long day at work. We all want to feel that way. We all want to feel special. But what do you do when someone won't show you these things that you want and deserve to feel?
I've swiped right enough to tell you that there are a lot of great people out there. I've also swiped right enough to tell you that there are some complete pieces of shit. Regardless of which way it goes, you must never lose sight of what you truly deserve from a significant other. Sure, it is complicated. Life is complicated and can throw a million curveballs at you daily. But the underlying idea I want to convey is to know your worth and to never lower it, sacrifice it, or lose sight of it. It sounds easier said than done, and once you throw in feelings it can seem near impossible at times. When we just want someone to be with we tend to downplay the things that we need or deserve. We will overlook the cute little reassuring gestures just to keep someone around. But when you are 100% all in and someone else is not, it either needs to change or you need to walk away. What would you do if you ordered a pizza and a slice of it was missing when it was delivered? You would call the pizza place, complain, possibly ask for your money back, and consider never ordering pizza from that place again. You wouldn't settle for a pizza being delivered to your door with a slice missing out of it, so why would you put up with someone showing you anything less than everything you deserve from a partner? (You liked the pizza reference, admit it.)
It is a hard truth to acknowledge, and you may not want to acknowledge it at times but being given anything less than everything you deserve is basically a flashing neon sign in front of your face. It may not be what you want to accept and believe but here it is... The bottom line is if someone wants to see you, they will see you. If someone wants to be with you, they will be with you. If someone wants to talk to you, they will talk to you. No matter how difficult it may be, no matter how busy their schedule is... someone that truly wants to be with you will be with you. Someone who truly sees your worth will treat you like you are worth it. It might hurt to accept this idea because nobody wants to feel like they aren't enough to make someone want to do all of those things. The truth hurts, and this one can really hurt like hell. This is the point where you need to remember all of the things you need and deserve and demand that someone shows up for all of it, not just part of it when its convenient for them. This isn't being needy, this isn't being clingy... THIS is realizing your worth and making sure that someone else is showing you it in return.
So if someone begins to show you that they aren't willing to meet you halfway, drop it like its hot. Sure it's a lot more complicated if you are married, have children, etc. But for the singles out there like me I have one message for you... Someone who truly cares about you will never intentionally try to hurt you. Someone who truly cares about you will clap every time you succeed. Some who truly cares about you will rearrange things to make sure they can spend time with you. They will not get scared and run away at the first sign of difficulty, but they will fight to keep what they have with you. And the ones that get scared, get lazy, and walk away... LET EM GO. You are too unique, too special, and too worth it to keep someone around that shows you that you are anything less than worth it 110% of the time. xx .
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